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the chronicles of cpt. sad

by yesterday

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1.
lone.ly 02:22
its always sunny in my room i got it in my pockets and im not afraid to open up the closet that you threw yourself in to but we both know what to do you and i could lie and act our age and never care about a thing that we dont want to every second that we lie awake is another step towards my next mistake and i cant take this pace not lookin too bright here just say youre alright, dear ill be up all night right here she said "it felt so right but were..." dont look at me that way
2.
waking up on a saturday sheets fallen off and youve gone away the white starts crumbling my brain keeps mumbling dont wanna hear that same shit again now this pain plagues both ways wont mind if you walk away leave me stuck in yesterday but whos to say we both gotta be this way? im pulling up in slick straight jackets thatll cover up my wrists but youre the best i ever had and you say the same to me hard to believe i write apologies to you in the form of shitty poetry with hopes that youll understand please understand my heads so fucked im running out of luck keeping cool couldnt be more hard feel im slipping further down another self destructive route cant keep count of the things i wish i never said to you im sorry im sorry im sorry its times like these where ill hide away its times like these where i wanna say dont fucking save me
3.
trust issues 03:16
its hard to believe you and anything you say dont take it personally ill talk to myself for days and think about the things you do when youre without me im self detrimental everyday find a safe space in my brain where im alone with you i can say the things i always wanted to say trust issues, i wish youd stay theyre eating me away trust issues, i wish youd say something to ease the pain its like you say thing but you mean something else the barren trees start reaching out to me as i drive my car through familiar places the only limits my imagination when it comes to you blind faith has proved that im such a sucker
4.
get down 03:26
she likes to talk about her ex's love how we fall in lust now you abandon trust before the touch down wipe the dust off of your face and take me to your happy place my minds always in a race i can feel its time to waste away ive never felt so hollow let me wallow in this bottle of broken promises that i never made let me die tomorrow, i dont wanna be saved come get down with me you can take anything you see and use the broken pieces of me her touch like nicotine the calm before the storm in my dead dreams and the wreckage after ill fake a smile and force some laughter every time you talk it feels like a lie sentence for your crime i think im falling behind, but im fine
5.
sealing shut 02:29
set me free let the animals inside run loose leave me be to self destruct at my own pace can you hear the sirens chasing after me? cant you see the warning signs? theyre getting louder and more obvious talk is cheap and the well gets drier as we speak i guess we sowed what we would reap my heart is yours but not to keep i havent slept in days, but its felt like weeks soon youll discover im not the one you seek still too weak, never recovered i just dont leak, im sealing shut behind closed doors in empty apartments on bedroom floors with blood stained carpets i dont mean to harp on every detail but the little things, they just mean so much to me her eyes couldnt tell the lies that i believe brace yourself a cry for help im chasing out all my demons with pitchforks and knives
6.
x's and o's 04:19
my words are slippery slopes just like the roads were driving im tired and just might say something stupid again or fall in love with you bring me down to your basement and into your room where we cover eachother in touches and feelings ive got something to prove im fucking worthless to you all the x's and o's in your journal next to pictures of blue colored roses make me wither away just like the ashes pervade like the words that i say to you take me away from the phone do you think about me when you're alone? you're gone what if all the trees never grew back their leaves in the spring and the colorful breeze was no more? it's no more i cant ratify my rational but im keeping quietly to myself so i cant mess up the words id say youll leave me stuck in yesterday got my heart sown on to every sleeve all my wounds are covered up with a needle and some threading

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released December 1, 2017

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yesterday New Jersey

est. 2016

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